10 watches that we need to erase from our memory. It wasn’t an easy task, to be honest. There are more than 10 for sure… Not everyone likes the same watch. Not everyone has to like the same watch, that’s perhaps even more important. But which watches really do deserve to be wiped from our memories? Let us know if you agree in the comments section below…

Let me start by saying that some of these watches simply should not have existed in the first place. They were never in style, they were trouble, or just because they did the brand damage. Without further ado, let’s have a go at the 10 watches we should forget about. We’ll start with one of the big boys…

10 watches - Patek Philippe Pilot Travel Time Alarm

Patek Philippe Grand Complication Pilot Alarm Travel Time

Normally, Patek is about refined watches. Aesthetically pleasing and — unlike the competition in Le Brassus — not screaming. But the most traditional of brands forgot about all of this when developing this Pilot Alarm Travel Time ref. 5520-001PT. When Patek came up with the Pilot collection, the association with Zenith was quickly made by journalists who were present at the unveiling of this watch. But this Pilot has no less than four crowns… Let’s not.

10 Watches - AP Millenary Dual Time Maserati

Audemars Piguet Millenary Dual Time Maserati

We can joke about the Code 11:59, but let’s first see where AP is going with that. I am not a fan of those, and I really don’t know what’s wrong with being the brand known for the Royal Oak and Royal Oak Offshore. Yet, the Le Brassus manufacture tries to have at least some portion of sales coming from different models. Today it is the Code 11:59, a few years ago it was the Millenary. The Millenary Dual Time Maserati is one of those watches we should forget about. Hideous. I don’t even know where to begin. The oval shape I think I can live with. But all that clutter on the dial? If you want one, you can find one for 30% of the original price.

10 watches - Constellation Double Eagle

Omega Constellation Double Eagle Co‑Axial Chronograph

Who did this? The specifications of this Constellation were promising, co-axial chronograph movement, carbon fiber dial, titanium case… This should be something sporty and futuristic, but the abuse on the classic 1982 Constellation “Manhattan” is mind-boggling. There is too much going on here, but if you really like it, it’s still hanging around on pre-loved marketplaces (but it doesn’t come cheap!).

Ebel 1911 BTR Automatic Chronograph

I have nothing much against Ebel. I grew up surrounded by people who had an Ebel, and it was highly regarded for being “a good watch”. In 2004 or 2005, shortly after founding Fratello, Ebel introduced their 1911 BTR. Now, I like the first models, although my preference is still with the older El Primero-based pieces. Annoyingly, around the same time, the brand also started to make awkward stuff like this reference E9139L72 from 2007 that deserves a spot in this list of 10 watches we should forget about. Why? Just like the Constellation Double Eagle Co-Axial Chronograph, the dial is a mess. They tried to include too much stuff in one watch. That doesn’t work and never did.

Top 10 Watches - Daytona Leopard

Rolex Daytona 116598 SACO

Now, I am not the biggest Daytona fan in the world. I tried a few, but it is not for me. But I do get the attraction that others have towards the Rolex Daytona. So how can a Daytona end up in a list of 10 watches we should forget about? Well, look at this tiger king Daytona! I even think Gerard had one in his shop back in the day, or perhaps even two. I can only see that someone buys this to have a “funny watch” but spending tens of thousands on a funny watch is just vulgar. Don’t get me wrong, I have an appreciation for the movement. I have an appreciation for gem-setting. And I can even appreciate a proper leopard print on the right kind of guy or girl. But when you chuck it all together on the same watch… Man, it just doesn’t work (although Joe Exotic might disagree with me here).

Maurice Lacroix Aikon

Stop, in the name of all that doesn’t suck! Many years ago, Maurice Lacroix was on my radar. It made handsome looking watches with a friendly price tag. Then, it tried to become “Haute Horlogerie” with some complications and square gear stuff (remember?). That didn’t last long as far as I remember. Maurice Lacroix disappeared for a while from Baselworld and came back “big” with their Aikon (yes, it is pronounced “icon”). Whoever came up with that name needs to take a long, cold shower and calm down. But it is not so much about the lame name, but the shape of the watch. Even people who bought it said, “It’s a very affordable Royal Oak look-a-like”. And that is exactly what it is and on top, using “icon” makes me sad. Very sad. A well-deserved spot in this list of 10 watches we should forget about goes to Maurice Lacroix’s current flagship model.

IWC Da Vinci 2007 — 2017

Rectangular watches are tricky. At least to me. Only a few companies know how to do one right. Think Jaeger-LeCoultre, Cartier, Apple, and… Erm… Well, that’s about it. Tonneau-shaped watches are already a bit easier on the wrist for me because often, the small width of a rectangular watch is what bothers me. But a tonneau-shaped case is definitely not the key to success either. Enter IWC Da Vinci. I loved the 1980s and 1990s version and I like the current Da Vinci as well. But between 2007 and 2017, IWC thought that this tonneau-shaped model was a good idea. It wasn’t. Not visually and definitely not technically (the crystals had a habit of falling off).

Edox Chronorally

What’s that, sir? You’d like an aesthetic disaster on your wrist? Come with me, I have exactly the model for you! Say hello to the Edox Chronorally. Look up the collection for some more variations on this model, but I warn you that it isn’t going to be a pretty sight. Jokes aside, I get the large pushers for rally drivers. I really do. But let’s assume you want to have pushers as big as the watch itself: how come you design a dial that is simply unreadable when driving your blue and gold Subaru Impreza over bumpy roads at 100mph? This watch makes no sense. And it is ugly. And there are a lot of ugly tool watches, but often they do serve a purpose and do that very well. This, however, deserves no such break.

Franck Muller Aeternitas Mega 4 8888 MGA T CCR QPSE

Oof. A watch with no less than 36 complications. But so, so ugly, I am not even going to name a single one of its complications. Now, the good thing is that Franck Muller also has some normal watches. But this is just too much. This platinum brick with 36 complications can be yours for just $3,000,000. This watch is proof that money can’t buy taste. The real horror is yet to come, though…

Jacob & Co Five Time Zone

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner. If I had to make a pie-chart and put all 10 watches of this list in there, there would be an almost 85% share dedicated to this Jacob & Co. monstrosity. Now, I think everything Jacob & Co should be shredded to pieces, but the Five Time Zone is one of the most hideous watches in the world. The attack on my eyes is brutal. It is an onslaught of bad taste and a perfect justification for questioning someone’s sanity. No more words needed. Can someone please stop this horror show.