Summer Splash: First Round Sees Accusations Of Doping Offences, Awful Officating, And Blatant Corruption
It’s been a ropey two weeks for the integrity of the internet’s favorite summer watch competition, with wild controversies, heated disagreements, and heinous incompetence on display over the first fortnight. Despite this (or perhaps because of it), it’s been a roaring success, with articles catching fire the moment they go live and several votes running very closely! Let’s take a moment now, before the quarter-finals commence, to reflect on the happenings of the contest so far.
I thought the rules were simple. It seems, however, I was wrong. While I’m not trying to shirk responsibility for my gross incompetence as the head steward of this event (I will do later, but not right now), the concept of “readily available” turned out to be more controversial than I anticipated.
Tomas Rosputinsky is a rotten cheat (and it’s totally not my fault instead)
Leaving the completely sold-out limited editions of TOMAS ROSPUTINSKY aside, Dave Sergeant’s Tudor North Flag caused quite a stir, given it is both discontinued and in the running for a place in the quarter-finals. So what gives there?
Well, when it comes to proven “watch doper” Tomas Rosputinsky, I just made a mistake. I didn’t look as closely at the availability of his selection as I should have done. Given the fact I love a bit of controversy and, thanks to my position as managing editor, have an inordinate amount of power to skew the truth, I feel totally fine about my own failure to do the one job I’d actually given myself to do. It’s fine. To err is to live. We’re all here for fun, after all.
However, we’re also here to find a true summer smasher that lives up to the originally stated criteria. I, therefore, disqualify both of Tomas’s offending choices from the running (so the Unimatic Massena, which had been narrowly leading the Yema in the voting stakes, and the Synchron Military are both booted from the race). I probably should have noticed the latter because I actually own one. Yeah. The truth is hard to believe.
The Yema, as literally the only eligible watch Tomas submitted — nice one, Tomas, really nice job of making me look like a tit for trusting you. Thanks, mate. — qualifies for the quarters. Honestly, this round was worse than the 1988 Olympic 100m final…
Dave/Bob Sergeant has been a very naughty boy
The North Flag issue is a bit tougher, however. Although it is very clearly discontinued, it is very much available in certain territories if you speak to enough stockists. I barely know what a Tudor display looks like without one (that’s especially true in the UK, so forgive my bias there).
I am concerned, however, that if I let this one slide and it goes on to win the whole thing, we might find ourselves in a bit of “Lance Armstrong situation” somewhere in the near future. As a result, I am hereby eliminating the Tudor North Flag from proceedings. Sorry, Dave. I had to try and make up for my own uselessness with a brutal execution of my own rules now they’ve been pointed out to me.
And now for a stunning announcement
At the start of this competition, I asked you to add in the comments which watches you felt should have been included but weren’t. I didn’t do that because I am chasing empty engagement stats or enough social interaction to inflate my ego to dangerously buoyant levels. No, I asked you because I care. We all do. We want this competition to be really representative. So here’s what we’re going to do about it…
I’m going to run a new article this week dubbed the WILD CARD ROUND. In this wild card round, every single watch mentioned in the comments of the launch article as of this article going live will be included in a many-way run-off for a golden ticket to what will become a THREE-WAY FINAL. That’s right: two Fratello warriors will go up against the pick of the people. The Wild Card Round will remain open for votes right up until one hour before the final’s publication (the date will be announced shortly).
So basically, we need your help once more: keep your eyes peeled for the Wild Card Round in the coming days and go ahead and cast your vote. Tell us who you voted for. Tell us who you think will make it to the Grand Final. And don’t forget to tell us what you’re wearing during the last weeks of summer. It’s never too late for a bit of seasonal inspiration.